Tom Phipps Presents: Tontons Macoute Come to Gallup


Tom Phipps Presents:

Tontons Macoute
Come to


Pierre Jon LeTrec was the dictator of an island in the West Indies which was once the property of France. Unfortunately no one cared for Monsieur LeTrec, for they resented being murdered in their sleep by his Tontons Macoute. When he disliked someone’s politics, he would send his Tontons around at midnight to haul the unfortunate soul out into the street in front of his horrified family and shoot him in the head. At last, the citizens rose up in an armed coup de tete and drove him from the island.

Meanwhile the people of Gallup were peacefully going about their business. 63% of them CH04_090m_sheknitteditformehad jet black hair. 22% of them had dark brown hair. 7% had light mousy-brown hair. 5% were blond and 3% had red hair (the punk rocker with the blue Mohawk doesn’t count, for he never woke up from his sleep in the drunk tank).

As fate would have it, Pierre Jon LeTrec and forty of his Tontons Macoute arrived in Gallup in their Bentley Superfast, with a trunk full of Uzis and AKs. They blocked off the roads. Nonews-graphics-2004_565903a one could come in. No one could leave. Within 48 hours, LeTrec had total control. Before he could open the road blocks, he knew he would have to win the hearts of the citizens of Gallup. To do that, he would have to blow out the brains of all who disagreed with him. He set to work at once. Every midnight he sent out his Tontons with a list of people to execute.

The most feared voodoo witch of LeTrec’s island had red hair. In fact all voodoo witches 5794819670_af6a694725_mdid. The Tontons Macoute were terrified whenever they hauled someone out under the street lights to find that they had red hair. They would gasp in horror and let the luckyRed_Hair_Model red haired person go.

The people of Gallup didn’t like LeTrec any more than the people of his island did. The people of Gallup refused to give in. After fifty years, the road blocks were still in place. What was the most common color of hair of the citizens of Gallup after fifty years?4jWiP


Who is John Dee?


(c) Wellcome Library; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation

Our wizard Razzmorten is a knowledgeable naturalist who also uses magic to cast divinations, travel by spell and see with crystal balls. This is not at all surprising for a figure in fantasy, but can you believe that there was a time when people like this were takenimagese seriously in the real world? John Dee was indeed taken seriously by academia and by the court of Elizabeth I, only four hundred years ago. I gratefully excerpt the following from Wikipedia (

John Dee (13 July 1527 – 1608 or 1609) was
a mathematician, astronomer, astrologer, occult philosopher, imperialist and advisor
to Queen Elizabeth I. He devoted much of his life to the study
of alchemy, divination and Hermetic philosophy.


Dee straddled the worlds of science and magic just as they were becoming distinguishable. One of the most learned men of his age, he had been invited to lecture on the geometry of Euclid at the University of Paris while still in his early twenties. Dee was an ardent promoter of mathematics and a respected astronomer, as well as a leading expert in navigation, having trained many of those who would conduct England’s voyages of discovery.


Simultaneously with these efforts, Dee immersed himself in the worlds of magic, astrology and Hermetic philosophy. He devoted much time and effort in the last thirty years or so of his life to attempting to commune with angels in order to learn the universal language of creation and bring about the pre-apocalyptic unity of mankind. A student of the Renaissance Neo-Platonism of Marsilio Ficino, Dee did not draw distinctions between his mathematical research and his investigations into Hermetic magic, angel summoning and divination. Instead he considered all of his activities to constitute different facets of the same quest: the search for a transcendent understanding of the divine forms which underlie the visible world, which Dee called “pure verities”.

British Musuem Dr John Dee

In his lifetime Dee amassed one of the largest libraries in England. His high status as a scholar also allowed him to play a role in Elizabethan politics. He served as an occasional adviser and tutor to Elizabeth I and nurtured relationships with her ministers Francis Walsingham and William Cecil. Dee also tutored and enjoyed patronage relationships with Sir Philip Sidney, his uncle Robert Dudley, 1st Earl of Leicester and Edward Dyer. He also enjoyed patronage from Sir Christopher Hatton. crysbal




Tom Phipps